PULLING THE THREAD
Each day that goes by presents its own challenges, each moment its opportunities. I confront what seems like a morass of issues, baggage, and ghosts, and beat them down with everything I can muster. Still, there's something I'm missing, and I know what it is. It's not an immediate challenge. It's not the next obstacle. It's more fundamental than that. This world, this self, this life I've constructed still seems too real to me. I fight against what's happening to me, bucking up against what I consider conventional wisdom about who I should be, what I should want and do.
I am anchored to it and how I've defined myself within it. I can engage in mental exercises and the daily meditations until the cows come home, but their effects will be diluted until I recognize how much more there really is in Christ and anchor myself to that instead. There are signs this is happening, that I'm settling into having the thread of my identity gently pulled. I can feel it in my mind. I can sense that while the world presented to my empirical senses has the appearance of realness, there's a transcendent reality of which it's merely a shadow. So I press on, holding fast to that sense, that vision, of what is to come and of where I'm headed.