HEMBLECIYA

I'm always pressing to charge up the next hill, always anxious to pursue the next accomplishment on the horizon.  The drive to do this is so severe that whatever came before it is null and void.  No matter what chain of success I'm able to build, it makes no difference in my self-image.

When it comes to spiritual pursuits and their focus on growth and personal betterment, it's easy to become transfixed on the things that need changing.  When I do this, I can easily become overwhelmed by everything I am not.

As the spiritual path moves outward toward the horizon, it narrows into nothingness upon the vanishing point.  As I walk, I find the landscape darkens to the right, brightens to the left, and the road itself narrow...

Never rush the inevitable, lest you pay a terrible price.  Everything culminates naturally in its own time.

Today I heard the Earth speak on behalf of us all, and I realized the way I see the Earth, the way I hold it in my mind, changes it.  The same is true of people, of life, of destiny.  I might see myself as an isolated photon of self-interest, but the Earth does not.  We are all in this together.

Perhaps I am at the mercy of my personal life experiences, but everywhere I turn I see incomplete people who need each other.  No one's self-sufficient or fulfilled in isolation.  More likely, we are threads in a tapestry. 

Life just seems to get grittier all the time.  The economy is in the toilet, the Middle East is either in the midst of a democratic revolution or an extremist uprising, and people have personal demons emerging like Krakatoa from the serene seas of their minds.

This is my first conversation with God since discontinuing my meditative practices.  I am fully conscious and grounded in reality.  God beckoned me to submit them, and I did.

In the end, transformation isn't something to boast about.  It's something to stand in, to embody, and this leaves no room for weighing or measuring.  It's simply about being your true self and realizing that this was always both the means and the end.

Just as I wrote almost a year ago, I am Jonah, running from my Nineveh.  I run with the blind stupor of hopelessness, experiencing many moments when I feel either the world cannot change, I do not want it to change, or both.